Wheeeee!

Lookout

First Guitar

39. Delaware

You gave the ship 14 sails but you can't give your Del-homies fingers? Get outta here with those skin-mittens!

Once Upon a Time...

Evil Eye

Good Morning!

Frosty

Put Some Clothes On!

40. Indiana

Bit pagan, no?

Shhhh

41. Utah

Don't put a flag on your flag. If you want to tip your cap to the union, weave in some subtle stars and bars. Or something. Actually I think the giant bald eagle probably covers it, but whatever.

This looks too much like the carpet in the oval office. Only with a huge beehive.

...

Check out the Utah State University flag. If you were a Ute, would you rather rock the Big Beehive or the Big U?



Yeah. Me too.

Deep Sleep

Little Elf

Hoopdy in Da House!

Jasper enjoyed his Turkey-Day

Touchdown!

42. Kentucky

The frontiersman and the businessman are supposed to represent all the people "united." It's funny that 100 years ago "unity" meant two white guys from different income levels.

What's the difference between a commonwealth and a state?
No one knows for sure. Scholars maintain that the answers to this question were lost generations ago. In other words I googled it and read for 5 minutes, but couldn't find a quick and simple answer. I wasn't really paying attention though.

I know a teacher who moved from state to commonwealth and she hates it.

Also, people who live in a commonwealth will remind you every time you slip up and call them a state. Strangely, it really gets under their skin. My advice is to offer them a high-five every time they say, "The Commonwealth of blah-blah-blah".

There are four commonwealths among the 50 US "states". How many can you name? Answers in comments.

Working on the Dyson

43. Nebraska

I'm going to go out on a limb (no pun executed) and say that Nebraska does not have mountains. So where do the Huskers get off including that lovely range into their seal?

After doing no research, I've concluded that they are simply trying to pull a fast one. See, everybody else is cramming their seal full of a bunch of different crap to make their state look rich and special. Nebraska just figured nobody would notice. I'm beginning to wonder if they even have steamships.

44. Kansas

The river is too deep to ford. You lose 78 bullets.

Mary has a broken arm.

You have died of dysentery.

45. Idaho

More vegetables. The reindeer looks like it's about to pounce on the justice-lady. He looks hungry. I don't know what's going on with the see-through shield thing.

Boring and unattractive.

Gus meets Aunt LaLa

More Sleeping...

46. Wisconsin

Wisconsin. Man, they've got it made.

You want badgers, they got badgers. You want to do some coal mining, try Wisconsin. Sailing? Arm wrestling? Yes and yes! Thingamabobs? They got 20! They even have vegetables and piles of lead!

Cute Outfit, But He Hates it

Mimi & Gus

Big Bro

Proud Papa

Little Looker

August Palmer Hudson

Right off the bat, three big problems.

First, what the heck is going on with that poor bird's neck? It looks broken, right? That never should've made it past the mock-up phase.

Second, Iowa breaks my "never put the state name on the state flag" rule. If your flag is really good, it will be so memorable that nobody will need a reminder as to which state it represents. Or even better something on your flag will make your state obvious, but without coming out and saying "Iowa".

Finally, that flag looks a little too French. And this ain't Louisiana, this is Iowa. C'mon, Iowa.

....

Okay. Wikipedia says the flag is intentionally French because it symbolizes Iowa's past as part of the French territory. And it also honors Canada because the middle section is "Canadian White."

Well allow me to retort. The New French Territory covered half of North America. Nothing special about that, Iowa. And 12 states share a border with Canada. So that's kinda unique, but if anyone is going to claim Canadian Flavor on the flag it should be Alaska.

Try and guess the 12 states that touch Canada. See comments for answers.

48. West Virginia

Here lies Santa Claus. He was murdered by West Virginians on June 20th, 1863.

49. Minnesota

Minnesota. It's the kind of place where a guy driving a plow pauses briefly to watch another guy ride by on a horse.

Too busy.

It's a bad idea to put an action shot in your state seal. And in general I don't like the idea of putting the state seal on the state flag. Double whammy.

Sorry, Minnesota. At least you beat Illinois. Congratulations on making the Top 49.

50. Illinois

*Editor's Note - This is the first installment of a new fifty-part series entitled "My Top 50 Favorite State Flags."




Congratulations to Illinois for having the worst flag in our great country!

Why is the eagle vomiting a federalism banner? Why is wheat growing out of the sun? And most of all why does this flag look like an elementary school art project?

I was shocked to see this cartoony approach to an official state flag. And it gets worse. There are like 20 more flags that look like the cover to an Apple IIe computer game. We'll get to them.

I should say something nice about the Illinois flag. "State Sovereignty, National Union" strikes my Libertarian-bone in a pleasant way.

I like that the image is a circle, but the edges aren't totally filled in. That adds at least a few grams of zing.

But I don't like that it says "Illinois" in big letters. As we'll see later, most of the really good flags know they are striking and memorable. Slapping the state's name up there is basically admitting defeat.

Classico

Ain't No Hole In The Washtub

Are We There Yet?

Pickin' and Grinnin'